butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
