Me too!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
