she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Still dying that you shit outside
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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