drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize