I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
