Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
