there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
