around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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