So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
and she was petting her beer can
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
