I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize