lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
