I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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