Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize