Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
