the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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