You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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