I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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