I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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