After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
