Pappa wants mamma naked
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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