Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
