Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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