She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
