I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
