I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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