My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
