You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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