i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
