Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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