the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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