I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
