my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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