just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
