My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
