we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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