O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
