He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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