I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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