And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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