dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
