well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
