When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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