I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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