3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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