today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
