Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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