So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
