I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
