I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
