i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
