That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
