Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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