And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
