dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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