Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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