Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I would fuck him just for his dog
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