you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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