You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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