I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
