I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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