I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
