my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
there is glitter all over my balls
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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