I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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