i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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