I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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