Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
