They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
