I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
NoShamevember. You game?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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