saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
