Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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