Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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