trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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