I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Do vagina's smell?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
