mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
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The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
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crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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