Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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