ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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