So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I need moral support for this bender
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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