Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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